Review by Rebecca Brue
Guest writer from the University of Alberta’s Creative Non-Fiction writing program
all photos: World Waterpark
On Wednesday, June 4, my friend Cole and I went to West Edmonton Mall Waterpark for my 22nd birthday. We arrived at 11:50, ten minutes before it officially opened. We were shocked at how many people were already lined up. When the clock turned to 12, they started letting people in. We paid $75 for each ticket, and they informed us that if we left the water park, we would not be allowed back in – meaning we had one chance to make the most of this place.
When we entered the changing room, the smell reminded me of the tropical Glade plug-in from my mom’s Volvo. The changing room lockers have changed since I was a kid. Instead of paying with change and getting a key, you now pay with a credit card. The medium locker was $15, and the large was $18. We decided on a medium, and once we paid, we got the option of picking one, two, or three wristbands to be able to unlock the locker, which was nice because we each got one.
After changing, we entered the water park. The hot, chlorine-filled air hit our faces. We grabbed two chairs—if you could even call them chairs. They were so low to the ground and at such an angle it felt unnatural. We looked past that and entered the water, kids sprinting past us to get deeper into the pool. While we got farther in, the water slowly moved up our bodies. The air horn went off, indicating that the waves were beginning in the wave pool.
By this point, we were in the middle of the pool. When the waves started coming, Cole began to freak out about how big they were. She started to go toward the shallow end while I was trying to convince her to go deeper. We noticed that the waves were biggest in the center of the pool, while the sides hardly had any. So we decided to hang out there for a while, talking and laughing like girls do. I found the waves very relaxing, and I loved diving underneath each wave while Cole did everything she could to not get her head wet.
I then decided to go on a slide and chose the Blue Bullet. This slide, listed as ‘Advanced’, was a classic circular slide that was completely enclosed. Upon reaching the top of the stairs, I saw a scale on the floor – they were weighing each person before they went on the slide. I immediately felt uncomfortable. Being a plus-size woman, it makes me very uncomfortable to step on a scale in front of a stranger. When I stepped on the scale, my heart was racing. I could feel everyone staring. What if I weighed too much and had to do the walk of shame back down the stairs?
Luckily for me, she told me I was all good. Once I sat down and pushed myself off, I was surrounded by darkness. I realized I was not able to sit upright because of how narrow the slide was. I was forced to lie down. I felt uncomfortable lying down, and while the slide continued going in circles, I found myself getting bored of how predictable it was. Soon, I saw the light at the end of the tunnel, and the ride was over. I would rate this a 5.5/10.
It was around 2:30 when we decided to grab a drink from the cabana. Cole got a Long Island Iced Tea, and I got a piña colada. Upon taking my first sips, I was surprised at how good the piña colada was. It wasn’t Mexico good, but it was still good – I would rate it a 7.5/10. While we sat and drank our drinks, Cole mentioned how this was sort of like an all-inclusive resort, but we had to pay for everything and it closed at 5. For it being a weekday, it was surprisingly busy. “Don’t people have jobs and school?” I thought to myself.
Just when I was coming to the end of my piña colada, I realized that the infamous Cyclone (rated ‘Extreme’) had finally opened – the slide that did a loop and the one I had refused to go on since childhood because of the fear of getting stuck. If you do not get enough momentum going up the loop, you end up sliding back down and getting stuck at the beginning of the loop. Today was the day I faced my fear. While I climbed the 10 flights of stairs, I felt myself second-guessing my decision. My mind was racing, and I realized it was my turn next. I stepped into the chamber. I could feel the water being sprayed on my back. I crossed my legs and arms. My heart was pounding. She asked if I was ready, and in that moment, I hesitated. I closed my eyes and said, “Yes, I’m ready.” The door closed with me trapped inside. It started counting down from 3 to 1 – and suddenly the floor disappeared and I was sliding down. I could feel more water being pushed into me in hopes of getting me over the infamous loop. Suddenly, I felt myself going down. I did it- and I didn’t get stuck! Once I got off the slide, I thought to myself, “Okay, that wasn’t that bad.” Because it was my first time and I was scared, I feel like I didn’t get a chance to fully enjoy the slide, so taking that into consideration, I would say I rate the Cyclone an 8/10.
It was getting close to 5, and we decided to end our water park adventure with some Dippin’ Dots ice cream. When we got up to the cashier, who looked dead inside, and ordered some cookie dough Dippin’ Dots, the cashier, not impressed with my enthusiasm, silently handed me the debit machine with a look of disgust on her face. I would rate the customer service 6/10 and the Dippin’ Dots a 9/10.
Overall, the West Edmonton Mall Waterpark is a fun place to go for all ages, and I will definitely be coming back – but not today, because once I leave, I can’t go back in.
World Waterpark
West Edmonton Mall
8882 170 St NW, Edmonton
website
hours vary: check here for calendar with opening hours
Tickets: $64 (general adults), $54 (under 48″, 122 cms tall), free (aged 2 and under). Discounts for seniors and for those with disabilities. Passes available ($45-$169)
